Recently Nollywood Actress, Nse Ikpe-Etim, shared her struggles with infertility on mother’s day. She opened up about having a hysterectomy, following the advice from her doctors, who told her she could lose her life the next time she got pregnant. It wasn’t an easy road for herself and her husband to take. She revealed she was depressed and wanted to give up on life and what she loved to do—acting. But with the support of her husband and loved ones, she is now able to share this difficult phase in her life, so she can help others, and also continue working.
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Several women suffer from infertility. Growing up, our mothers made it seem like, the very first time we had sex, we were going to get pregnant. But that is not the reality of some women in their adult years. Some have been married for 2, 5, 10, and even more years without kids. When someone gets married and conceives almost immediately, that is a gift from God, because it doesn’t happen for everyone that same way. Hollywood star, Gabriel Union shared that she suffered about 7-8 miscarriages before she decided to go the surrogate route, to have her first child.
There are also couples who have to go through the IVF or IUI route to conceive children, while for some, no matter what they do, it doesn’t just happen. I believe if more women like Nse and Gabriel, share their stories, they will be able to help encourage those who are fighting this battle of infertility and let them know that they are not alone. When people have a community of people who have gone through the same things they are struggling with, they are then able to face their battles, more courageously.
As a society, we also have to do better. Do better in the sense that, when people get married, allow them to settle into the groove of things, without bombarding them with questions like— when would you start having children? Because you just never know what these people are facing in their household. Those kinds of questions, create an added pressure to the infertility problems, they might already have. If you are not close to them, or if they don’t come to you personally, then keep your questions to yourself.
For anyone dealing with this struggle, just know that you are not alone, God is with you. God has created many ways for you to bring in a child into your home. It might be through surrogacy, IVF, IUI, or adoption. But if your deepest desire, is for you to carry your own child, then trust that He would see you through the journey. There is nothing too difficult for God (Jeremiah 32:27), remember the story of Abraham and Sarah? (Genesis 18:14) Or that of Hannah who gave birth to Samuel (1 Samuel 1:19).
The Bible is full of countless stories with people who trusted God for children, and how He came through for them. Exodus 23:26 says—“no one shall suffer miscarriage or be barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days.” You can hold God to His word, and He will have no other choice than to perform it.
A family friend of mine just had her first child, after ten years of marriage and failed IVF treatments. She conceived naturally and delivered her baby girl a few days ago. Everyone is so happy and excited for her and her husband. We will never know why infertility occurs or why God delays certain blessings, but what we know for sure is that God has a plan and a purpose, and He will always fulfill His plan and purpose for your life. Hang in there lovelies!
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About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, and content creator on Letstalknationblog.com. She is a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform––Let’s Talk Nation––to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world.
Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.